#WordWednesday

happify

First, let's be clear. I made up this word. It means to make someone happy, and I don't believe in it.

"She makes me happy." or "Presents make me happy." But here's the thing – I really do not believe that someone or something else makes me happy…or unhappy. I think that what we mean is that certain events, actions and people are more pleasant, and so we feel happy (or some other pleasant emotion). But we all know that those very same events, actions and people can at times feel unpleasant. What's the common factor? It clearly can't be the event, action or person who has "made" me happy or unhappy, so it must be me. My emotional and mental response or reaction to the pleasantness or unpleasantness is the key.

For example: A man and woman have a fight. He brings her flowers by way of apology. She feels happy and forgives him. The flowers and their implied message seem to "make her happy." OR She's still angry and doesn't forgive him….and the very same flowers and the same implied message do not "make her happy." So it's not the flowers, and it's not the implied (or even sincerely spoken) apology that "make" her happy or not happy. It is in her to decide how to feel.

Of course, another person's actions or an event might make it easier to feel happy or unhappy, but it's still an internal decision, in my opinion. So I can happify myself, no matter what others do or don't do.